Wednesday, 22 September 2010

The crayons have come back to bite Swiss in the arse

Swiss is shocked.

Having spent two years at CofL attending regularly at weekends to do crayoning, papermache models and basket weaving, playing in the sandpit and graduating to potato painting and even felt pens, it has finally dawned on Swiss what it was all about.

Throughout the course, the brightest and best students were whisked off to a special room in the deepest darkest recess of CofL to do 'Special work' Swiss obviously never was selected, but the rumour was that they were playing with a John Bull printing set. Swiss feels all nostalgic and excited just typing those words!

Having passed the course, well, scrapped through, but who cares, its done, Postman Pat delivers a fine A4 envelope, with DO NOT BEND across it, and a CofL frank.

Wow, this is exciting.

Swiss gingerly opens the envelope, withdraws the content, and stands back in amazement.

Swiss is shocked.

In his hands, shaking with excitement is a certificate for passing the course. Confirmation that he is a Barrister (well, in 3 weeks time he will be) and that he is a thoroughly good egg all round.

Swiss is shocked.

Did a first year student make the certificate with the John Bull printing set? Its the most useless and uninspiring certificate Swiss has ever seen.Swiss has spent his life achieving the impossible and collecting certificates to prove his worth. All lined up on his wall, ranging from his 25metre swimming certificate, his cycling proficiency, and pride of place, his membership of the Tufty club all look a darn sight more impressive than this shoddy piece of work.

Swiss can only hope that when he is Called next month, that they present him with some form of super dooper certificate to make amends for the pile of pooh that CofL think justifies passing the course. He is thinking a bit of gold leaf, a ribbon, copperplate script and a badge.

Hang your heads CofL. Its not good enough.


Mel said...

Don't think I even got a certificate?!

Swiss Tony said...


Is this the same Mel that walked into a Bar?

I have decided to not place my faith in anyone or anything any longer, and am in the process of making my own certificate. Goodness knows, I have had enough practice in potato printing and crayons.

Its looking good so far, but I think I spelt my name wrong!


Asp said...

I'm resisting starting a rant here, because many people have been exposed to it.
But my CofL LPC certificate is infinitely more impressive, more appropriate, and more stylish than what I got for my admission to the roll of solicitors.
As the certificate was sent with a leaflet reminding me as to Core Duties of the profession, including that I must not behave in a way that is likely to diminish the trust the public places in you or the legal profession., I will also point out that I in no way am critical of the SRA or their admission certificates...