Monday, 5 July 2010

Swizzle Sticks

Swiss is shocked.

Only a couple of days ago, Swiss was guest of honour at a class reunion with his bestest friends from the BVC. Admittedly he had pleaded and cajoled them to turn up so it wasn't as much guest of honour as being allowed to mix with the clever people, and sitting outside the pub on a warm July evening all on his lonesome, he felt that they had let him down, until one by one they all arrived and sat before Swiss and marveled at his exploits and hung on his every word.

The merry group laughed, reminisced and laid out their plans for the future. Swiss had a little problem though, which seemed to magnify itself as the evening wore on. Much as Swiss likes a pint in convivial company, he isn't used to downing 6 pints of 'Tail Shaker', and his words became more slurred as the evening wore on.

It came to the point where Swiss was unable to think clearly, and so in a rash moment, totally unexpectedly he announced to cheers and whoops of delight that he was in fact SWISS TONY.

Swiss was shocked.

The cheers and whoops were all in his head, fuddled by alcohol of a greater strength than he was used to, because truth be known he might just as well announced that he had a blister on his left foot. Lead balloons don't go down much faster than the announcement.

Swiss was shocked to discover, that of the most learned and cleverest people he knew, none of them had been following his exploits. None of them had picked up his tips for passing the BVC, none of them had even heard of him before. Have they never seen the statue erected at CofLaw in his honour? Have they not been entered for the Swiss Tony Scholarship? Had they not eyed the Swiss Tony Advocacy prize with envy?

Oh the shame.

Swiss truly is shocked.

23 comments:

Law Minx said...

My Dear Swizzles,

The pleblian SWINE!!! How DARE they not bask in the maginificance of your blog!! They should all be taken out and made to clean the floor of the Thames Flood Barrier with their Tongues! I am incandescent with crossness!!!

Steph said...

Yo Swiss...
You are the man .. the main man..grrr
But ermm how can I say this... you negated to mention in your liquidous chattings with your BVC chums that you were friendly with The Minx, The Michael ( woah ) and the splendiferous multifaceted Andro ... not to mention that splendid hunk of a man that is BarBoy... grrr

Steph xx

barboy said...

Swiss, others not being familiar with your blog is the least of your worries. I was speaking with someone from CoL who was recalling how, at his class's recent drinks bash, a strange bloke showed up pretending to be a barrister. They were shocked.

吳婷婷 said...

當一個人內心能容納兩樣相互衝突的東西,這個人便開始變得有價值了。............................................................

竹青 said...

far from eye, far from heart...................................................

吳婷婷 said...

感謝您給我的啟示!............................................................

吳玉婷 said...

愛情不是慈善事業,不能隨便施捨。......................................................................

barmaid said...

Look on the bright side Swizz, you've picked up quite a following in China:-)

dawsonfelicia張君dawsonfelicia均 said...

Prevention is better than cure...................................................

Swiss Tony said...

LM,

Your crossness has been noted, and when I can summon enough crossness to match it, I will give them all a good talking to.

Steph,

I don't know what drugs you have been taking lately, but if you think that Barboy is a splendid hulk of a man, you must be as high as a kite. He is, and always has been a wus of the highest order, and just calling him names makes him cry. Admittedly, he is a laugh in the playground at playtime, and the way he puts up the hood of his anorak, holds the bottom with both hands and flys around making aeroplane noises is brilliant, but he is still a wus.

BM,

Unfortunately, that isn't my following in China. I made the mistake of upsetting Chang who owns the local takeaway when I said he walked like he had prawn balls, and he has sworn a vendetta against me.

I don't understand what they get out of posting rubbish, but he, I have done it for a couple of years now!

Swizzle

洪瑋婷洪瑋婷 said...

要在憂患恥辱的環境裡,創造我們自力更生的新生活。..................................................

陳佑發 said...

打聲招呼,祝你一切平安!..................................................................

佳瑩佳瑩 said...

生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

許惠吟許惠吟 said...

好文章給我好心情,謝謝分享~~............................................................

家唐銘 said...

享受你自己的生活,不要與他人相比。......................................................

凱v胡倫 said...

Quality is better than quantity...................................................................

蔡曼鄭美玉屏 said...

每天都是新的心情~~希望都是好心情!!!!..................................................................

蕾蕾 said...

這一生中有多少人擦肩而過?而朋友是多麼可貴啊!......................................................................

蕾蕾 said...

祝福你人氣不減ˊˇˋ............................................................

黃怡君 said...

真正的朋友不會把友誼掛在嘴巴上......................................................................

慧SigridNolen1201珊 said...

我們必須先有哭泣,才有歡笑;也必須先感到人生的悲哀,然後才感到人生的快樂。................................................................

張王雅竹欣虹 said...

人生中最好的禮物就是屬於自己的一部份............................................................

Android said...

Don't worry, Swizz. At least the foreign bvc students like you blog a lot (judging from all the comments!)