Thursday, 10 December 2009

Prisoner on the loose

Swizz is shocked. (Seems like a good opening phrase, and it tends to be used quite a lot lately)

Monday, Swizz was in his local County Court, waiting to lodge some papers to get an emergency hearing. The counter opened at 10.00 and Swizz was there bright and early at 09.58, to join the queue of miserable looking people.

The doors opened, Swizz was closest, so he stepped through and held the door open for the attractive young thing that was first in the queue.

Big fat man behind her said in a very gruff and sinister voice 'Oi you *******, theres a *****ing queue, and *****'s like you don't ******ing help jumping it, you ******.'

Rather taken aback at the courseness of said fat gits language, Swizz squared up and offered him outside.

Oh no, sorry, that was the story in the pub later, Swizz apologised and smiled as he held the door open (a bit wider than necessary) for the fat git to squeeze through.

Fat git stepped up tp the counter, and, shocked Swizz to the core.

'I am on day release from prison and have to present myself 'ere tomorrow for something or other, but I am 'ere today and it seems like a waste of f***ing time to come back tomorrow'

At that point his mobile rang, he said 'Nah, see ya down the pub in five' and hung up.

Is this really the state of the prison system nowadays, to let crims out for the day, with mobiles, and money to spend down the pub?

Bloody crims don't even need to escape anymore. They just get allowed out for the day to get some Xmas shopping and meet their mates down the pub. And be rude to Swizz. That fat git needed stringing up for that.



Michael said...

Wow... that really is shocking, Swiss!!

It's a pity that someone in the queue didn't make sure that his or her knee made sharp and satisfying painful contact with his erm, 'private regions'.

Swiss Tony said...


What Swiss also found shocking was that the fat git was a fat git.

Surely a prison diet of dry bread and water would have shed a few pounds off him.

Unless of course they don't do dry bread and water anymore.

Shocking all round really.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.