Monday, 10 November 2008

RADAR

The Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, have a department that deals with business training. My illustrious Inn, Inner Temple, lay on a training session run by RADA to teach presentation, speech etc to young hopefuls. having blagged my way on the course as an old hopeful, it turned out that there were about 120 hopefuls of various ages, me not being the oldest!

Split into three sessions to teach us essential stuff, and it all looked promising.

Session 1, I was taught to say my name clearly. Essential for any pupillage interview apparently as if I am not clear they would sit wondering through the whole interview just who I was. Lets ignore the fact for one moment that the interview panel are not numbnuts, wouldn't they know who I was? Wouldn't they have written to me and invited me in for a chat? Wouldn't they have my cv in frot of them? Apparently not. They need me to say H.E.L.L.O....M.Y N.A.M.E...I.S....S.W.I.S.S......T.O.N.Y. Accompanied with a smile.

Session 2, and we did facial exercises, and lots of tongue twisters. This was actually the most fun part of the day. Quite a laugh, but I wonder just how useful it will be to me. When asked why I want to be a barrister I will be able to come out with some shite about the sixth sheiks sick sheep, or peter and his pickled pepper. Good stuff.

Session 3, I can honestly say I have no idea what it was about. Quite an eccentric guy who was pretty amusing, but I don't think anyone actually grasped what the heck he was on about or what relevence it had to anything, let alone making us better barristers. I do know that I was on my feet for over an hour and just wanted to sit down.

In its favour though, I did meet and speak to loads of other BVC'ers and found that Hearsay is unfathomable and nonsense, and that the course is alright.

I also believe that Inner temple, and full marks to them, are brilliant for laying on the activities that they do. I may not have gleaned a lot from this one, but have from others and will continue to do as many as I can.

I have been led to believe that Inner Temple is the best Inn for layong on educational activities. It has a Debating Society which I understand Middle has lost now and the others don't, and is the only one to hold the RADA sessions. (Maybe there is something in them not holding it!) I am sure others will be able to stick up for their Inns, but having picked Inner for a simple reason which has nothing at all to do with knowing what I was doing, luck seems to have favoured me. (As it did with BVC provider)

Anyway, just imagine me in a some demented way saying very slowly and very clearly, Hello, my name is Swiss..... Tony. Imagine the cheesy smile on my face. Would you give me a job? Nah.

15 comments:

Law Minx said...

Swizz, for what its worth ( and it isn't) I'D give you a job in Joking Barristers Chambers as the lobby greeter ( until such time as you attain the laudable title 'Barrister ', when,of course, you will be appointed a room all of your very own in which to contuct joking business the basement).

In the mean time, tish pashar to all those tongue twisters! Try saying ( as George Carman once did, for over 15 minutes) ' A Large White Bottom' with a completely straight face.....

Swiss Tony said...

Minxy, I don't think I could say a Large white bottom and not think of you.

Speaking of which, how are the young nurses? Still all looks and no brains?

Thanks for the job though. No reference to you and your bottom intended, but I think I will try some stand up first.

Bar Boy said...

Swiss, I'm thinking that along with the stand up, you would impress the bejesus out of those pupillage committees if you could throw in some banjo playing. For some reason, I just cannot get the music from Deliverance out of my head.

Spot on about IT; definitely the Inn of choice for the discerning students. I am there for a lecture next week and, of course, the obligatory two bottles of red wine. Am I expecting too much to be hoping for some sausage and mash also ?

Law Minx said...

er.... there is probably a compliment in there somewhere, but not TOO sure where....!

The Mostly Blonde Charges are continue to amaze me as a triumph of style over content, but they are trying their best to grow out of it even though appearing in the News of the World in various states of undress was a TERRIBLE temptation......

PS: Why is my verification for this post 'Phest'?!!

Law Minx said...

er.... there is probably a compliment in there somewhere, but not TOO sure where....!

The Mostly Blonde Charges are continue to amaze me as a triumph of style over content, but they are trying their best to grow out of it even though appearing in the News of the World in various states of undress was a TERRIBLE temptation......

PS: Why is my verification for this post 'Phest'?!!

Swiss Tony said...

Minxy, backtracking as fast as I can, yes, it was all complimentary. Undoubtedly, as complimentary as I could be. I was getting a tad worried that I may have overstepped the mark and a coach load of Rugby players was heading towards Swizz to kick the shite out of him. Phest!

BB, having attended a few lectures recently, not by our illustrious provider I might add, I am always reminded to get a good nights sleep the night before. Top tip mate.

One good thing about Saturdays Radar session was bangers and mash. Anyone know why Inner Temple does the best bangers and mash this side of anywhere?

Being in such posh surroundings however, I found myself asking for sausages and mash rather than bangers. It just didn't seem the right thing to be saying, and I felt stoopid afterwards. Phest!

swizz

Bar Boy said...

Swiss, you'll note I am getting the hang of this barristerial language. Now I've got into the habit of saying sausages rather than bangers, next up will be some practice to stop saying ... oi, you, numpty, are you stupid or what ?, to that bloke in the fancy dress who sits up the front.

Law Minx said...

BB, have you been reading the celebrated House of Lords Sausage case?!?!

Law Minx said...

Swizz,

I have heard TERRIBLE rumours concerning the Inner Temple Baked Potato - I am told it's cooked in a MICROWAVE!! SACRILIGE!!!!!

Swiss Tony said...

Minxy, If believed all the rumours we heard, you wouldn't dare show your face in the Big City ever again.

I will put the baked potato rumour with the Minx and the coach load of Welsh rugby players rumour and try not to let them bother me.

Swizz

ps And I will stick to mashed potatoes too, just in case.

pps And next time I am following a 'Evans Thomas Coach Tours' bus on the M4 and someone moons out of the back window, I will know who it is.

Lost said...

I thought you might have developed a new sensory power, something similar to a gaydar! Turns out you have just been doing drama!

Did they teach you how to do Jazz hands?

Mel said...

Ooh I was advised by an actor friend to do this sort of class, have been looking for one! Well, thinking of looking for one at least! Shame, my inn does not offer such splendours.

Red lorry, yellow lorry was always my favourite tongue twister. Deceptively simple, yet fiendishly difficult to say over and over again without tripping up!

chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rocknlaw said...

I've heard about all of this RADA business, it sounds genuinely immense. Lincoln's have nothing of the sort, it's all £25 dinners for us, expensive and inedible mostly.

I heard stories of body explosions to express different colours and lecturers calling the BVCers darling-sweetie. Can you confirm this Swizza?

Swiss Tony said...

Rock On, nobody called me daaarling sweetie, or Daaarling Johnnie come to that.

Nobody exploded either, although the bangers and mash I had did sit a tad heavy on my stomach. Nothing a good lie down and a snooze wouldn't have cured.