Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Draughting

Draughting is easy peasy lemon squeazy. Admittedly I have done it for nigh on 30 years, so should be good at it by now (or out of work) but come on, it comes naturally.

I can sketch, draw to the finest quality on the back of fag packets (Actually I tried that once but the box is shiney and the pen wouldn't work properly), napkins (they fall apart and are naff to draught on), the finest parchment, cartridge paper, graph paper, plain paper, linen, tracing paper and even in the sand. I have drawn at A4, A3, A1, A0, even Double Elephant (Don't ask because I don't know). When I draw on computer (everyone does don't you know) I draw in infinity. Wow, Buzz Lightyear eat your heart out.

I have drawn sitting down, standing up, on my head, even in the Southern Hemisphere! And Wales too come to that! I can draw with pens, pencils, Rapidographs, even blood if I had to.

Drawing boards, T-squares, adjustable angles, protracters, stencils, sanitary fittings templates, Autocad, freehand, scales, compasses, rubbers, razor blades and even angle poise lamps, I am an expert. No one can touch Swiss on draughting.

Draughting is so easy that i am king of draughting. If it needs to be draughted, I am your man. I will be top of the class and get an outstanding with ease. I may even help my colleagues who judging by the way they hold a pen will really struggle with this.

Whats that Bar Boy? Drafting? Whats that then?

Blimey, whats this all about? Writing? Legal stuff? Drafting?

I bought a copy of Pleadings without Tears, and was crying by page 5! It clearly is not working as a book. Misrepresentation methinks! All my plans for coming top have come crashing down to reality.

Drafting? Now I have a dilemna. Hearsay is in my head. I got it in the end. If I let Drafting in, Hearsay will fall out. I know it happens. I have studied law stuff before and keeping more than one concept in your head just does not work.

Drafting? Bloody american spelling. Why can't we keep it draughting and then I would be good at it.

Blimey.

6 comments:

Bar Boy said...

Swiss, a few tips to learning how to draft like a lawyer:

Every other line must have a spelling mistake.
The use of numbers sequentially is expressly forbidden.
When thinking about paginating any document, don't.
Never use the names of the parties but, rather, use those in the previous version of the document from which you are now cribbing.
If a sentence contains less than 100 words, delete the full stop and add the words to the next following sentence.
Be prepared to be pompous and huffy when any non lawyer suggests that a small child could do better.

Fiona said...

Now was that "hearsay" or "heresy?"

Swiss Tony said...

BB, Whilst I like the rules you have helped me with, its all just too much. I already have a heap load of rules to draughting in my head, make sure that the lines meet in the corners, don't colour over the edges, make sure circles don't show where the pen started and finished, keep lines consistent, etc etc. I have always been complimented on how neat my draughting is, but it seems that all of that will count for nothing.

I will make a start with your list and see where that gets me.

Fi, don't get Swiss started on religion! I am in enough trouble with that thorny subject already, and am slightly concerned that with all those bonfires due in the next few weeks a ritual burning of Swiss may be on the cards.

Android said...

Drafting is tough...

barmaid said...

I think that I've misunderstood, you see I thought draughting was something to do with the swooshing gowns n we got prizes for swooshing and as such causing a draught, hence drafting. Bugger, I've been swooshing up and down the street all week with an old duvet cover wrapped around my shoulders, I'd got really good at it too, everyone was stopping to look. So, we've got to do writing as well as colouring in? Does it have to be joined up writing?

Legal Lass said...

LOL at BM's comment.
If only that were the case!

LL