Draughting

Draughting is easy peasy lemon squeazy. Admittedly I have done it for nigh on 30 years, so should be good at it by now (or out of work) but come on, it comes naturally.

I can sketch, draw to the finest quality on the back of fag packets (Actually I tried that once but the box is shiney and the pen wouldn't work properly), napkins (they fall apart and are naff to draught on), the finest parchment, cartridge paper, graph paper, plain paper, linen, tracing paper and even in the sand. I have drawn at A4, A3, A1, A0, even Double Elephant (Don't ask because I don't know). When I draw on computer (everyone does don't you know) I draw in infinity. Wow, Buzz Lightyear eat your heart out.

I have drawn sitting down, standing up, on my head, even in the Southern Hemisphere! And Wales too come to that! I can draw with pens, pencils, Rapidographs, even blood if I had to.

Drawing boards, T-squares, adjustable angles, protracters, stencils, sanitary fittings templates, Autocad, freehand, scales, compasses, rubbers, razor blades and even angle poise lamps, I am an expert. No one can touch Swiss on draughting.

Draughting is so easy that i am king of draughting. If it needs to be draughted, I am your man. I will be top of the class and get an outstanding with ease. I may even help my colleagues who judging by the way they hold a pen will really struggle with this.

Whats that Bar Boy? Drafting? Whats that then?

Blimey, whats this all about? Writing? Legal stuff? Drafting?

I bought a copy of Pleadings without Tears, and was crying by page 5! It clearly is not working as a book. Misrepresentation methinks! All my plans for coming top have come crashing down to reality.

Drafting? Now I have a dilemna. Hearsay is in my head. I got it in the end. If I let Drafting in, Hearsay will fall out. I know it happens. I have studied law stuff before and keeping more than one concept in your head just does not work.

Drafting? Bloody american spelling. Why can't we keep it draughting and then I would be good at it.

Blimey.

Hearsay Evidence

WTF.........

This reminds me of the GDL, when they tell you to read something, you read it, and haven't got a darn clue what on earth it is all about. Funnily enough, it is the first thing on the course that hasn't seemed to be completely logical, clear and simple. (Other than Numpty in the class who is clearly simple)

Hearsay:
“Any statement made otherwise than by a person while giving oral evidence in the proceedings, which is tendered as evidence of the matters stated.”

OK, I understand that bit (I think), but you only need to read a further page, paragraph, sentence, or word, and it all goes to pot.

Hearsay.

I think I would stand more chance of trying to understand how 5 kids on a TV pop show could make so much money out of so little talent.

I think I need to do a bit more investigation on the subject and hopefully report back when I know what I am talking about.

Swizz

The Winders

I did read a very interesting tale about the 'Winders' on another blog, (Paranoid Pupil i think) describing the 'Winders' It is the Bankruptcy court dealing with winding up orders against companies. In a morning, always a Wednesday apparently, about 300 companies hit the skids.

This week I was observing. The High Court Judge deals with people's livelihoods in a very fast way. A certain amount of paperwork has to be submitted, in the correct order, and dealt with on the correct dates. The debtor serves a notice on the company, the application is advertised in the London Gazette, and a Certificate of Compliance with a list of creditors is sent to the court. The advert must be seven days or more after the service.

The court was packed with about 50 Junior Barristers with gowns and wigs. There were some members of the public who no doubt wanted to see the scumbags that owed them money declared dead and buried.

The clerk will call out, '56789 Dead Company Limited' Both parties, if they are there, rise. Usually there was just the one. 'I rise for the creditor and ask that if the paperwork is in order the usual order is given' The judge will check the paperwork (actually that had already been done so he had a series of ticks on a sheet) and said 'Yes, all in order, the usual order granted'

And that's the end of Dead Company Limited. Sum total, five seconds.

Half way through, with about 25% of cases not having the right paperwork, or the barrister making a complete tit of themselves in front of a gleeful audience, we got to '6789 Dead Scaffolding Company' The barrister rose, 'I rise for the creditor and ask that if the paperwork is in order the usual order is given'. The Judge began to say something but was interrupted by:

'NOOOOOOO....' Everyone looked round to see two of the biggest muscly men in history stood at the back demanding their day in court.

'Who are you?' asked the judge. 'We're Directors of the Scaffold Company and we don't wanna be wound up like. We managed to get the old bank manager to transfer £5000 this morning to clear the debt like'

The barrister looked a trifle concerned that the two guys would have words outside court if they didn't have their say, so he stumbled, muttered and tried to slide back into his chair.

'It aint our fault, the stoopid court froze the bank account so we cuddent pay the stoopid bill could we, but we done it today some'ow like'

The other director chipped in 'Yeah, our account is managed by the banking equivalent of Mr Bean'

Everyone looked at the judge. Possibly because these two guys looked as if they meant business and would beat up anyone who would disagree with them.

The judge looked up 'I am afraid that you will find that the whole British banking system is being run by the equivalent of Mr Bean!'

Judges, don't you just love 'em. Heart of gold he had, sense of humour, and top bloke.
The scaffold boys live to fight another day

Doing the LAMDA

As part of my glorious Inn's educational activities, a session of Lamda had been organised. They have actually arranged various sessions, and as Bar Boy discovered a couple of weeks ago, the Advocacy session was brilliant, and so today I found that doing the Lamda was probably better!

Whilst I admit that I did feel slightly overdressed in my little outfit (as pictured), the only drawback I found was the the skirt was slightly too short.

The session is all about communication. It is run by the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts (LAMDA), and had nothing to do with South American dancing with two hot chicks in my arms. I will admit to being a little dissapointed, but I didn't like to admit to my mistake, so gamely carried on.

We were divided into groups of 6 or 7, and following a heap load of relaxation exercises and facial gurning we each had a go at reading a few lines from Shakespeare, which was then praised and criticised in sometimes equal amounts! For some reason I was compared to Bottom! (Must have been the short skirt)

Then came the testing part. We had been asked to prepare a three minute speech which was listened to, picked apart, analysed, put back together, replayed, questioned, analysed again, and then applauded.

All in all, I did learn a massive amount about how to communicate effectively, how to project my voice, keep the audience interested, and generally not look stupid when speaking in public.

If anyone ever gets the chance to attend one of these events, go for it. It was brilliant.

Swizz